What You Didn’t Know About the Different Parenting Styles Ruining Marriage
Isn’t it amazing that parenting styles can have such a significant impact on a marriage? Parenting is a broad term – it can mean how you discipline your children, the activities you do with them, or how much independence you give them.
Parenting styles vary from authoritarian to permissive, and all have various consequences for children and marital life. No matter what parenting style is used, all parents have one ultimate goal: to raise a child who is self-sufficient and capable of success. However, many parents need to realize how it affects their relationship with one another.
The imbalance one creates in marriage due to parenting can be overbearing on both the parent and the marriage. For example, authoritarian parenting could mean one parent taking a firm stance while being stricter with their children. At the same time, the other partner is expected to remain lenient and compliant. This power imbalance can create resentment in the relationship between partners if it isn’t managed correctly. The result? Stressful days and sleepless nights due to constant arguments.
This article aims to look at different parenting styles, their consequences, how they can ruin marriages and approaches to deal with any issues.
Different Parenting Styles
Before reading the rest of the article, it’s essential to understand the different types of parenting styles.
The Authoritarian Parenting Style
The authoritarian parent describes themselves as “my way or the highway.” These parents tend to have more control and power over their children by imposing strict rules and punishments. They never make an effort to listen to their children. Hence, children cannot voice out and are often ignored by these parents. This parenting style is often referred to as a negative style as it tends to produce negative results leading to children with low self-esteem.
The Permissive Parenting Style
Implementing harsh and forceful rules or emphasizing discipline is different from their thing. The permissive parent is the exact opposite of the former. They let children behave as and how they wish without direction or consequences for ill behavior. As a result, children led by these parents often show poor discipline and have difficulty managing their emotions. Moreover, there can be other issues, such as poor academic performance, lack of self-control, and respect for authority.
The Neglectful/Uninvolved Parenting Style
The neglectful parent does not provide their children with physical and emotional needs. This parenting style has severe consequences, as it can lead to serious attachment issues, low self-esteem, social anxiety, and in some cases, behavioral problems.
How Parenting Styles Can Ruin Marriages
Directing back to the central question of parenting styles running marriage, these different parenting styles can considerably impact the marital relationship. The significant impact of marriage parenting styles has always been debated.
The different views of parenting in a couple to raise children can drastically affect the marriage. When the two parents have conflicting views about parenting, arguments, and disagreements are eventually created, paving the way to a rift in the marriage. Sometimes these sessions can get beyond stressful and make reaching an agreement at any given point impossible.
For example, imagine both parents being authoritarians being extremely forceful with their children. Although with the same parenting style, these parents can clash or argue over how the rules must be implemented and how they can perfect the kids by using the best set of rules to suit the situation. These will likely lead to disagreements with one or each wanting to be superior in their decisions. Eventually, these arguments will overwhelm them and lead to less communication.
On the other hand, if a couple takes different or opposite approaches in directing their children, it will still have a negative effect on the marriage. Disagreements arise if one parent is more lenient than the other or the other is strict. They may feel the other’s approach could be more effective or more moderate, and this can lead to conflicts.
Signs for Parenting Disagreements
Watch out for the warning signs before things get out of your hand. Below are some red alert signs that indicate something is wrong with your parenting styles:
Children Asking Permission From One Parent
Now, consider that there’s something wrong with your parenting style if your child only asks for permission from your partner. In this case, you may be the one that’s too lenient, or even worse. This can also mean that your partner is acting as the authoritative parent in the house. Try and think if you’ve been neglectful for the most part.
Extra Time Spent With Children
Something might be wrong if you prefer to spend extra time with your kid. It’s extremely important to spend some quality time with your partner. But if you’re opting to do otherwise, it may mean you’re trying to avoid any unpredictable arguments and discussions.
Children Choosing One Parent Always
If children pick on one of the parents only to find comfort in any situation, they may be scared of the other. This can also mean the incredible bond between the parent they choose for comfort. If such a situation is encountered, it’s best to seek others’ opinions immediately and balance the family environment.
Couples Having Trouble Making Decisions Together
If you and your partner have difficulty making decisions, your parenting styles are clashing. Both of you should be able to reach an agreement in terms of parenting decisions. This can also help the kids because they will feel like both parents support them and their decisions.
Inability to Pay Attention to the Needs of Your Partner
If you’re unable to pay attention to your partner’s needs in terms of parenting, it can make them feel neglected and insecure. It is essential that both parents understand each other’s perspective and work together accordingly.
Best Parenting Approaches to Have a Healthy Marriage
Having similar approaches between the two partners in terms of parenting styles is advisable, as children will be directed to value relationships consistently. There’s no proper approach to dealing with children without ruining marriage.
- Balance out – Things work differently in every family. Every couple has different demands and values. Same way, different parenting styles need to be considered. However, they shouldn’t be too contrasting with each other.
- Discuss – Another critical approach is to discuss how to parent children and any effective ways regularly. It would be wise first to outline the goals and express each other while understanding and respecting each other’s opinions. This will pave the way to a healthy marriage while raising intelligent children over time.
- Compromise – Try to constantly compromise and seek counseling with a professional if it comes to that. So finding a middle ground that favors both partners is a win-win decision while being a healthy parent.
- Make Alterations – Remember that the same parenting style will only work sometimes. What worked a couple of years may work differently with your children as they grow up, and their levels of understanding differ with time. They will have to be altered and changed with time.
- Communicate – As long as couples continue to communicate openly and respectfully about their approach, they can make adjustments as the needs of the children change and find a way to make it work. With patience, practice, and open communication, finding a parenting approach that works for your family is always possible.
- Value and Respect – Strong communication between a couple is critical regarding parenting and maintaining a healthy marriage. It can be challenging to reach a consensus if two parents have different approaches, but it is essential to remember that everyone’s opinion should be valued and respected.
- Understand Each Other – With a good understanding of each other’s parenting goals, couples can find common ground and devise creative solutions to any disagreements. Working together in this way helps build a stronger relationship between the couple and strengthens the bond between them and their children.
- Work Together – Parenting can be challenging and rewarding simultaneously, and it is important to find ways to keep your marriage healthy and strong as you navigate through parenthood. Try to fan the flame together as a couple in parenting by accepting each other’s differences and creating a supportive environment. Doing this will help keep the marriage alive while ensuring that children are provided with adequate love, attention, and guidance.
- Prioritize – Ultimately, it is essential to remember that your relationship as a couple should always be a priority over everything else.
FAQs Related to Different Parenting Styles Ruining Marriage
Can Parenting Differences Cause Divorce?
Parenting differences can undoubtedly cause tension in marriages, but they don’t have to lead to divorce. Couples can learn how to communicate effectively and find compromises that work for both parties regarding their parenting styles.
How Do You Balance Different Parenting Styles?
The best way to balance different parenting styles is to have an open and honest dialogue with your partner. It’s essential to be aware of each other’s goals and values when it comes to parenting and to always aim for compromise instead of conflict. Many resources can help couples learn how to communicate better and understand each other’s perspectives to find a balance between their parenting styles.
What Are The Benefits of Different Parenting Styles?
The benefits of different parenting styles include the following:
- Teaching children how to think critically.
- Providing children with more perspectives on various issues.
- Helping children become well-rounded individuals.
Additionally, when couples approach parenting with respect for each other’s views, they can learn how to work together to devise creative solutions and compromises that benefit their children.
Can A Marriage Survive Different Parenting Styles?
Yes, a marriage can survive different parenting styles. Couples must be able to communicate openly and respectfully about their parenting approach to ensure their marriage stays strong. With patience, practice, and open communication, finding a parenting approach that works for both partners and their children is always possible.
Who Should Aim for Being The Authoritative Parent?
Both parents should aim to be authoritative to provide their children with a safe and nurturing environment that encourages healthy growth. Authoritative parenting focuses on setting boundaries while providing love, support, and guidance. This approach is beneficial because it helps children learn how to make responsible decisions within the limits of the rules set by their parents.
Put An End to Parenting Disagreements!
The key takeaway is that parenting with your partner can be a great source of joy and strengthen your relationship, but it’s important to remember that disagreements will likely arise. It is imperative to have open communication and mutual respect between both parents to develop the best possible parenting solutions. Ultimately, it’s about making sure everyone involved is heard and respected. By doing so, couples can ensure a healthier, more harmonious marriage.
Try and work out a couple of approaches outlined in this article and see what works for both of you. With love, patience, care, understanding, and respect, something is sure to work.